If you notice that one person in particular is not following the rules, please talk to the person in question directly.

“But that’s going to be so awkward…”

That’s perfectly understandable. Some courage is needed to talk to someone face to face.

“Pointing out someone’s mistake” may sound like a difficult thing to do, so why not “tell the person how you felt” instead?
In this case, “talking to the person directly” does not mean that you have to scold them or point out that they are wrong. Instead, it means that you kindly tell them how you felt about their actions.

“There was hair in the sink again! Remember to keep it clean!”
“Why can’t you just do this? Stop breaking the rules!!”

If you use the expressions above, the atmosphere in the house gets tense.

“There was hair in the sink, and it doesn’t feel nice to be the next person using it. We all share the same sink, so let’s all remember to remove the hair after using it.”

If you express how you felt about the problem like this instead, you open up a possibility for two-way communication with other house members.

Out of these two ways to communicate, during your everyday life in Kizunaya Sharehouse, we would like you to practice the latter.

Someone is not following the rules. If you know who it is, please try to express your feelings to them directly like this.

When house members communicate in an open way with each other, this also helps build a community where everyone follows the rules.

At Kizunaya, when a new resident moves in, we ask them to communicate with other house members directly like this when they need to. When there is a problem, try not to point out the other person’s mistake but instead try and tell them how you personally felt about the problem.

If you don’t know who is breaking the rules, try the following two methods.

1. Send a message to the house LINE group

Some people feel that pointing out things on the house LINE takes a lot of courage.
Calling out to a large number of people at once may sound indimitating, and not only when talking about rules and manners.

For example: hosting your first food gathering, telling somebody something, requesting a new activity…
Sending your first message to the house LINE may feel a bit intimidating.

But remember this: the people living in the house are your one and only sharehouse family.
Whether you are discussing the problem with only one person or with everyone, there is one important thing to remember. Rather than getting angry and blaming others, try to convey how you felt about the problem.

“Someone forgot again!” “Who did this?!”
Looking for culprits like this is usually not a good idea.

Instead, try to convey how you felt about the problem like this: “This rule was broken, and I felt bad about it.”
That way, you can build an open community where people can feel free to discuss the rules and say, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

Sometimes, people break the rules unintentionally.
What’s important is to build a community where you can feel safe to say, “Sorry, I think it was me.”

2. Talk to people you meet in the common spaces

When you meet someone in the living room or kitchen, try talking to them directly.
“People have been a bit lax about this rule lately. How can we remind everyone in a pleasant way?”

Reminding everyone helps them to review their own actions and also creates an opportunity for everyone to come up with new ways to let all house members know about the rules.

You can always ask other house members for ideas.
In the past, people have come up with ideas like cleaning the entire house at once or reorganizing the supplies to make them easier to use.

3. Putting up a temporary reminder

Another idea is using a piece of paper to remind people of the rules!
If you would like to do this, please use the Cleanliness & Repairs Form to make a request.
After our management team has reviewed the request, we will write a note and put it up temporarily in the house.

Finally, let us tell you what kind of support our management team can or cannot provide when it comes to house rules.

What the management team can do

1. If our team notice during cleanliness visits and house viewings that rules are not being followed, we will remind everyone in the house thread.

We regularly remind everyone of the house rules. If we notice that the rules are not being followed while visiting the house, we will also remind the people present directly.

2. We can put up a notice in the house during the cleanliness visit when needed

There are some notices and signs in the house reminding everyone of basic rules. If you would like us to put up an extra notice, please consult us through the Repair & Cleanliness Form.

What the management team cannot do

“(Name) won’t follow the rules, so I would like you to tell them this without mentioning my name.”
We cannot speak for you or anonymously convey your feelings to the other person.
The reason is that a sharehouse is a place where you share your daily life with other people. We would like you to build a community where you can discuss rules and manners openly with each other, as we believe that direct communication is the key to a more comfortable shared life.
Instead of a short-term fix, we hope to build a community where reminding each other of rules and manners is a natural part of everyday life in the long term. That is why our team cannot speak for you or convey your message to another person.
However, if you are not sure how to express yourself, we can give you advice on ways to communicate.
The communication method stated on this page is Kizunaya’s basic stance when it comes to communication. Please read this page well before making a request for support. If you are in need of direct support after reading this page, please do not hesitate to contact us.

If you are reading this, you are likely a person who likes to keep the house nice and clean. Thank you for always following the Kizunaya Sharehouse rules and keeping the house comfortable for everyone.

When rules are not being followed, it feels sad, doesn’t it.

Especially if you’re a person who likes to keep the house in order for everyone, you may clean various areas more often or pay extra attention to how you use the facilities. That’s why you might feel really sad when you find a mess in the house.

We believe there are various reasons for rules being broken.

“I usually keep everything clean, but today I forgot.”
“I’ve been busy lately and haven’t had the energy to think about anything else.”
“I wasn’t aware of this rule.” etc.

Naturally, the shared spaces are not for just one person, but everyone.

When sharing a house together, it is important for everyone to follow the rules and be considerate of each other.

That is exactly why it is important to express your feelings directly when the rules are not being followed.

We hope that this will become an opportunity for all house members to build a better community and a more comfortable everyday life in the house.

If you were the one not following the rules, please remember these phrases: “I’m sorry!” “I did this instead.” “Thank you.” “I’ll help you next time.”
We hope to build a community where you can feel safe to use these phrases with each other.

If you have followed the advice on this page, but the other person refuses to communicate or ignores you, we can support you by contacting the person in question to check the facts regarding the situation, provided that it is not anonymous.
If you would like us to do this, please contact us through the Community Consultation Form.

Thank you for your understanding and cooperation.